I don’t understand how just thinking about you makes me almost cry and makes me depressed for several days. What is this emotional connection I have to you? We never were anything.
It happened when you said you weren’t coming back to school. I nearly cried in front of everyone. It happened when I had to leave early. It happened when I heard that the doctors talked to you while I was in the hospital. It happened when I saw you’d sent me a message on Facebook. It happened when you sent that one text.
It happens when I think back to when we first met. It happens when I think about spring break. It happens when I see your name randomly on Facebook.
But mostly it happens when I look at your profile and think about when we walked around the park that night. Your arm around my shoulders. You just telling me all about your life. From being bullied in school to going on a mission trip to your brother to drinking with your friends. When I think about you being on the other side of the country. When I try to tell myself that I know I’ll know we’ll never see each other again.
So how did this emotional connection form? I have no idea. But I do know that it’s there now, and I can’t cut it off. I can’t get rid of it. I can’t fill the gaping hole you left there. Worst of all, I don’t want to.
I hope you think of me sometimes. I hope that some day we’ll see each other. I hope that one day we’ll talk like we used to.
I hope I stop crying.
I hope you come back.
I hope you come to me.